Welcome to Isleton, where logic goes to die and local government is now apparently run by committee—specifically, a committee made up of bar regulars, lawn chair philosophers, and a Facebook tabloid with a direct line to the gospel according to ChatGPT.
At the center of this civic melodrama is the Mei Wah Beer Garden—well, technically, just the outdoor seating area, which the City finally shut down. The bar inside is still open, just like it was before 2020, back when the mayor didn’t have the pandemic to thank for her extended playtime on public property. The irony? The same mayor who rode the Covid emergency rules to grab hold of a public street is the one who proudly referred to Covid as the “scamdemic.” So maybe she was right all along—maybe the encroachment was fake too.
Now, supporters claim the city is trying to kill a local business, despite the fact that the business is still very much alive (and serving drinks). The real issue is that the mayor wants to elevate bags of chips, beef jerky, and the occasional frozen burrito to Michelin Star status so she can call Mei Wah a restaurant and sidestep pesky Health Department rules. Because according to her logic, if you have a microwave and a menu, congratulations—you’re Gordon Ramsay.
Let’s also remember this little civic gem: the business in question wasn’t paying rent for the public street it occupied, and now primarily exists as a backdrop for performative rebellion. That rebellion is led, in part, by a local shit stirrer whose name rhymes with Dan Pain—a self-appointed pseudo-journalist, ChatGPT enthusiast, and proud bearer of the nickname “shit stirrer,” a title lovingly—and probably unironically—bestowed upon him by a fellow barstool barrister. On Sundays, he can be found sitting in a lawn chair, gripping a mason jar like a gavel, holding court for the outraged and the misinformed.
And yet, the crowd cries: “GET TO YES!” A sentiment echoed loudly at a recent special meeting, where supporters demanded the city make it happen, without the burden of explaining what “it” is—or whether “it” is remotely legal.
Let’s talk about that legality for a moment—just for fun. First, there’s the whole gift of public funds issue. Imagine if any ol’ bar owner in Isleton just threw some furniture onto a public street and ran a business rent-free for years. That’s already a legal headache. Now ice that cake with this fun fact: the bar owner is also the mayor. That’s right—the same person profiting from the use of public property was also in the room when the council approved temporary use of that same property back in August 2020. She “recused” herself by abstaining from the vote… immediately after lobbying for it. Bold move. Almost poetic.
Here’s a free idea: maybe the most vocal supporters could pool their resources and buy the public street outright. It’s been effectively confiscated anyway. But like everything else in this movement, that idea will die the moment it requires anything more than a Facebook comment and a raised glass. After all, alcohol is a thin glue of fellowship.
We’re also told, with great passion, that Mei Wah is vital to the local economy. But whose economy, exactly? Besides the drinks purchased within its walls, what are these out-of-towners buying elsewhere in town? Are they helping fund city infrastructure? Supporting local services? Reading the Municipal Code over breakfast? Doubtful. The pennies trickling into city coffers from this sacred tap handle are laughable at best—and possibly mythical.
Yet here we are, wrapped in the swirling logic of public sentiment that says if enough people believe something illegal should be allowed, it must be allowed. And if a City Manager doesn’t override the law in favor of feelings, well then, he’s clearly waging war on local business.
So the next time someone bellows “GET TO YES,” just remember: yes usually comes with paperwork, laws, and that pesky thing called accountability. But if you’re only here for the Facebook likes and bar stool declarations, then congrats—you’re already at “no” and halfway through your second drink.